can you keep a secret?

shhhh.

before we welcomed the boy into the family... we were a gaggle of girls around here.

we were all pink nail polish and skirts and smelly good soap in the shower. well. some of us were, anyway.

now we've added a bit of tonka to the mix. and a dash of overalls. not to mention the dinosaurs.

some of them have forgotten what it was like to be a gaggle. of girliness.

tomorrow night? i will be reminding one of them. in an extra special way.

and, much like my fort building skills, i am also an exxxxxcelllent surpriser.

Dear Landon. Month Four.

Today you are sixteen weeks old. And I could still just eat you with a spoon. I think this feeling wears off sometime around nine or so, when I will be helping you pack the bag you plan to run away from home with. Don't forget clean underwear. For now, though, I am relishing every second of this deliciousness that is... you.

Four months ago today wanna know where I was? Sitting in the labor / delivery suite... praying. Just for you. For me. For us. It was quiet and still. Just you and me. Waiting. I could never say enough about those moments between the time the doctors said "let's have a baby" and the time the room filled with people. They were surreal - the seconds before ... before the girls became big sisters... before I became the Mother of a Son... before your daddy became a father. Quiet moments. Tremendous moments.

You are smiling and laughing at everyone and oh-so-ticklish. You are outgrowing every article of clothing you own. You and your cousin Jackson have discovered the magic of each other. Faces and people have now become familiar characters. You know your Mama and Daddy, Mimi, Pa - Sisters - heck, even the dog. You watch and observe and are probably wondering how in the world you ended up with this lot as your Relatives... but, all the same, we like you a lot. So just bear with us. We're learning.

This month you spent some extra time with your other Grandmother. The one who will undoubtedly let you runaround barefoot with mismatched clothes and frogs in your pockets. The one who will teach you how to make mud pies and who will dip your feet into the lake with hers. The one I can't wait for you to love as much as I love. And because you've been listening to all my stories about her - you smiled and laughed and cooed and kicked until you fell sound asleep right beside her from all the excitement. Right then, I pictured you in six or so years, wet hair, swimming trunks, barefoot, sunkissed... passing out next to her on the boat. Contentment. Just remember. When your dad and I screw things up... when we make you the maddest you've ever been... when you're busy packing your runaway bag... you always have your grandmothers.

Oh. And where are you celebrating your big day? Well. I must confess. Today is your second day with The Babysitter. No. Not Mimi's or even Jennifer's or any other even distantly related relative. A wonderful, delightful, caring Babysitter. Who doesn't even have a wart on the end of her nose. Who even told me you had FUN yesterday. Where, I might add, you are surrounded by several other children who have made you the center of attention, which I AM SURE is only causing you to miss your mother EVEN MORE. Mmm-hmm. I am sure that's exactly what you are doing.

Love.
Mama.

yummy.

The girls .... well - SB and I - made these yummy brownies last night, courtesy of Bakerella. We even invited Mimi and Pa over from The Grandcastle to share. Sharing is fun. Especially when it involves chocolate chip cookie dough. Yummy. I also think we will be having them for breakfast. With eggs, of course.

in my circle.

...in a rare moment of complete loveliness.

We don't talk about Jackson enough anymore...

Lord have mercy on my soul. This boy, with the only exception being my own boy, has completely stolen my heart. Can you seriously resist this face? This face, by the way, is always sticky and covered in some type of goo... albeit syrup or juice or lotion or dog hair (eww) ... something... the child's face is a perpetual mess. It's become a trademark of sorts. Hence the black and white photography... makes for less... um, DETAILS.

The boy has TEETH. A mouthful of them. DO NOT listen when Jenn asks you to stick your finger in his mouth. Resist. The. Urge. Because, I am just telling you - he WILL NOT release. Kinda like a snapping turtle. Jenn thinks this kind of humor is like, very funny. I find it very painful. Especially because I stuck my finger right in there. It still hurts. Don't let the sweet/innocent/blond look fool you. He's vicious, I'm telling you.

And you have never in your life met SUCH a boy. He loves making things "go" and throwing himself backwards into everything... most especially his Mama. When he's very excited or very upset he thrashes around like a small dinosaur. The Christmas Tree was only decorated from the top to about half way down - because Jackson found it very entertaining to smash ornaments into the floor this year. Naturally, everything goes right into his mouth for a quick taste test... and what goes in, DEFINITELY comes out. Also do not let Jenn trick you into changing a diaper. EVER. It's a mean and nasty trick. MEAN. Trying to hold Jackson DOWN while you do the change is like wrestling with a shark. So, good luck with all that.

Don't worry. I plan to make sure he has Polo shirts and good table manners. Promise.

What can you "not" see in the picture above? Oh. That's right... all the BLUE cookie icing smeared all over his face, tray and pajamas. At one point during Christmas, I heard Jennifer tell Brian that his son had cheesecake.... in his hair.

He's also started talking. So far it's all blah blah ya ya and Mama - but "Landon" is in the works... right now it sounds more like NaNon, but the boy is trying, people. I am also currently working on "Aunt Rachael Rocks" and "Aunt Rachael You Are So Beautiful Let Me Give You Sugar". I'll keep you posted. Jenn has taken him to the dentist already (she's like, reallllllly into the oral hygiene thing) and he's scheduled to meet with a speech therapist to help him learn to use the all new and improved roof of his mouth. Jenn is SUCH a good Mama - the people at the cranio-facial doctor's office told her it was one of the best cleft repairs they'd ever seen.

Jenn reminds me often of what a good, patient Mama she is. For Christmas, I bought Jackson a book of stories for one-year-olds. I bought it because Jenn was admiring it in the bookstore - and because I knew that being the Mother of the Year that she is, she'd be reading it to him everyday.

Speaking of his Mama, could he love anyone any more than her? Seriously. I have to remind him often that I was STANDING RIGHT THERE when he poked his little head into the world.

I am getting her back by posting her picture right here on the internet. Enjoy.

xoxo