Sunday, June 20, 2010

This is my Father's Day Card.

I know, I know. You've missed me. After I became addicted to Facebook, I just stopped blogging altogether. It's a crying shame really. Oh, how I have missed these early (note: 4 am) wake up calls to squeeze out several paragraphs. Nowadays, I guess a blog post is more akin to a reallllly long Facebook status. Oh well. If you're here... might as well enjoy it.

Dear Joshua.

Father's Day is here. Your second official one, really. The second one you have spent celebrating your own flesh and blood, and all the insanity they have brought into your life. Sleepless nights, throw-up, poop (lots of poop!), tears, fevers, sleepless nights, and other general insanity. What a life! Who signed you up for this again? Oh ! Wait. Nevermind.

So. Here you are. In the midst of the greatest adventure of your life thus far. Two babies. Less than a year apart. Is your hair thinning on top? Just askin'. Diapers. Bottles. Not even knowing what it means to sleep until daylight on a weekend morning. After all, if we did that, we might miss one of thirty-two episodes of "The Wiggles." And that, according to Landon, would be a crying shame. I think for revenge, I might just teach Lauren to like Barbies. Lots and lots of barbies. Barbies with pink clothes and pink corvettes and sharp plastic hands that stab you right in the foot when you stumble through Baby's room in the darkness. Indeed. Sweet, sweet revenge.

And, for being thrown into these shoes almost overnight... you've done a pretty good job. Of course, that's mostly in part to the fact that you know everything about everything.... so, therefor, parenting comes soooo "naturally" to you. Puke. My favorite thing that you say to me regarding parenting this brood is... "I've just never seen anything like Sarah." Dude. When was the last time your raised a teenager? Jussssst checkin'. When it comes to the preteen and teenage set, you seem to have it (*mostly) under control too. They stick with you like glue. Did I mention that know-it-all's get on my nerves?

And so, for good measure. to handicap your perfection-style parenting, I threw Lauren into the mix.Seriously, what's one more baby around here? Lord have mercy on our souls. Thank God for bottles of good tequila and it being a free country and all. Otherwise, we might not have survived her first three, colicky months of life. And, after all this time we've spent falling incredibly in love with her big blue eyes, you will won't change her dang stinky diapers. I don't get it.

So. I am writing this today to say - you're doing an amazing job. Thank you for working hard, providing, and loving everyone in this crazy house we live in. I seriously have no idea how you're doing it. Good drugs? Good family? Must be something. <3