SWAK.

On Valentine's Day Eve, I blew up thirty balloons. With my own lungs. I placed them all over The Farmhouse. I made garlands for the dining room curtain rod. I placed numerous boxes of candy and stuffed animals on the table. I know how to throw a party, people. Even if it means collapsing a lung.

The next morning, it was the usual smiles and oooohhhh and HOW MANY BALLOONS ARE IN HERE, EXACTLY? And sweet little Landon, who is a toddler of few words... walked right in the room and proclaimed, "BALLOOOOS!!!"

And my Valentine? Sweeter than chocolate and worth more than a few diamonds. Handmade by my creative offspring, who, despite their shudders to hear it, are more like me than they care to realize. SHHHHH. Don't tell.



Jordin made me some Mommy Time "Coupons," free to use at my discretion. Here is my favorite one. WILD CARD. I am thinking about presenting this one and saying - "See you guys next week ...WHEN I GET HOME FROM THE BEACH." I should probably use both of them at the same time for something like that, do you think? I mean, leaving town is really worth two "wild cards" - just to be fair.

I hope this one wasn't a swipe at my noticeable grey hairs. I sure hope this is not their way of begging me to go ahead and get the "Mommy Hairstyle" I have feared getting most of my adult life. Like, I have the Mommy Van already and if I get The Hairstyle, then people will just know by looking at me that I have four children. I feel it's coming sooner than I would prefer. Like, now that I have this coupon, I would say the icing is on the cake. Even though the thought Hair Cake makes me not want to eat any breakfast.

Movie Night. Ahhhh. A non-G Rated movie. One that might have kissing and a few good swear words. One that includes popcorn and candy just for me! ME! I don't even know what movies are out right now that don't include animated characters of some kind. To use this coupon, I will need to do some serious research. SERIOUS. I think these coupons also mean WE WILL KEEP THE TODDLERS. YOU GO. Hmmm. Maybe these also include the bonus of telling me that my shirt that is on backwards is smeared with banana and possibly I should change before I go. Is that a bonus part of this package? Or is watching me leave stained and disheveled just part of the fun? I need to read the fine print, I think.

In my previous BEFORE THE TODDLERS life, I got my nails done. They really haven't seen the inside of a nail salon since... since... well, that's embarrassing. Once again, checking the fine print on these... wondering if this means my manicurist will be eleven and in my living room ...? Does this coupon include free clean-up of spilled nail polish on carpets? Maybe I will just stick to the professionals for this one.

There were more coupons than just the ones shown here, including one "HOW ABOUT A FREE HUG" (I don't personally "charge" for hugs - but hey, IDEA!) and PICK THREE GIRLS FOR A GNO (Girls Night Out)... I love them all and can't wait to use all of them. However, admittedly, I am not sure which I am more excited about - actually using the coupons for all the fun stuff and outings, or the looks on their faces when I throw one down for redemption. WAIT! DON'T LEAVE US WITH THE BABIES! (Haven't I heard that one somewhere before?)

Oh, and yes... I included a picture of the models shown in my photos... aren't they just cute? Also because, who really needs them forming a Union? Trust me, it's hard work keeping The Farmhouse happy.