An Open Letter to My Cousin Mandy.

Dear Cousin Mandy,

Thank you for calling me "Chubs." It's much better than what my Mimi calls me, which is "La La." If I could throw something at her when she says this, I certainly would. However, all I can do right now is take it and ignore her.

And you're right. It's okay that I like my pink rubber duck better than the blue one. Real men DO wear pink, afterall. I knew we would get along.

By the way, thanks for letting me eat your sunglasses. What?! I am supposed to wear them? That's dumb. Why would anyone want to do that?

Don't forget about me when you go back to Charlotte. I'll need someone to teach me about theater and fashion and good books.

Love,

Mr. Chubs.